


Inflicted Delusions

by Christina_Potter_09



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 06:44:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15455604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christina_Potter_09/pseuds/Christina_Potter_09
Summary: A 3-Parts series of Harry and Hermione, 1st part right after the dance scene of dh, the 2nd is after the war without the epilogue and the 3rd shot sometime later... Harry & Hermione never got the chance to see who they truly are...





	1. Falce Incest

_Part One_

 

_False Incest_

'Go inside,' Harry whispered as he moved outside the tent and looked at Hermione, it had been minutes ever since their dance and the heavy end of it. It had been minutes ever since their minds put up all the walls in their place again, even if their hearts still raced… they had gotten way too close this time.

Hermione didn't even say a word, she just obliged and got inside, maybe it would be better if he stayed out and she remained in like they were before he entered the tent and took her for the dance.

It had started so innocently, so calmly, he had made her smile, something he was to do all the time as usually, Ronald was to be there to make her cry, but Ron wasn't there anymore, he hadn't been there for days, and she cried every night, but not because of her missing him, as she had tried to convince herself, but because she wasn't feeling the absence of him, she wasn't noticing it, not while she was sharing good moments with Harry, while she felt respected, appreciated, loved…

She sighed as she tried to take her mind away from what had almost happened, she could still smell Harry's sense with her own and her perfume, he had told her he loved that perfume but she shouldn't be wearing it in their hunt, but she was a young woman, even in the middle of nowhere, sometimes, she needed to feel a bit better, if the good smell was to make her at least close her eyes for a moment in pleasure, she wanted to have it on her.

But right now, too many things were on her, senses, burdens, pain, desperation and only dead ends in their journey, so much was upon her.

She looked around her and her eyes fell on the tub of the tent, she had a quick shower two days ago, it was freezing cold but a couple of heating charms and a water spell was helping for a quick shower, but now, she felt like needing something to relax, Harry was outside, and even if she was awkward with him, she felt safe with him watching, she trusted him with her life.

She approached the tub, took her wand out and pointed at it, the metallic tub filled with cold water and Hermione summoned the shampoo bottle she had taken with her, it had been a large bottle but the content was decreasing, she put in just a bit and waved her hand inside, she then pointed her wand again and the water turned warm, steam rising from above the surface. She gave a small smile and remembered the little rose she had found in the snow that morning, in her patrol, she summoned it too, ripped the petals and threw them in the tub… small luxuries in the middle of nowhere seemed ridiculous but the poor bud would have died in the snow and without a vase as well so its petals could help her little bath ritual.

She glanced towards the opening of the tent and couldn't see Harry moving, so she half covered the "bathroom" area of the tent with its curtain kept the lamp on the other side of the it for the light not to be overwhelming, and started undressing.

The radio was still on, playing soft music and she knew the Horcrux was next to it, but for those minutes she would enjoy her bath, she wanted to push everything out of her mind, she wanted to pretend to be back in her house in England, in her bathroom, with her parents at work, returning at a specific time for them to order pizza and watch some historical drama, her mom and her own favorite kind of movies, she wanted to be the Hermione before the Hunt, before the War, before the pain and the strength to send away her parents for the war in the name of the man she…

For the war in the name of Harry's, her best friend, her companion, her  _brother_! He was her brother, he wasn't the one she wanted… even if he respected her, even if he knew how to make her smile, even if he praised and felt proud of her, even if he tried to be better for her, even if he was the one to help her in the times of need, even if he was her shoulder to cry on… even if his eyes before, when their lips were a couple of inches apart, was the most beautiful thing she had even seen… no, Harry was her brother…

She stacked her clothes in a pile and set them upon the chair close to the tub, she shivered at the cold and got inside the tub as quickly and carefully as she could, the last thing she needed was a head injury in the middle of nowhere.

She sat carefully on the bottom, her back touching the magically heated wall of the tab while her legs curled inside the water, it was years ago when she was short enough to be laying in a tub, now she was a tall woman who had to curl her legs as to fit in.

She released her hair from the ponytail and held herself from the edges so she could water her hair, the sense of rose petals and the shampoo calmed her mind while the hot water calmed her sore body, she missed her bed, even her couch, the common room in Gryffindor's tower, her bed in her dormitory, everything, for those lonely moments, she had every right to internally complain about everything. Harry had been right when he had screamed at Ron, they wouldn't stay in a 5 stars hotel, but right now, with the hot water spoiling her like a little devil, she wanted to pout and cry over the simplest of things as a hot bath in the time she wanted it every time.

She took a deep breath and tried to focus on her relaxation, sooner or later, Harry would return from the patrol, she didn't want to make things even more uncomfortable for the both of them, they had almost crossed the lines a few minutes prior… they needed just a bit more, she knew.

As she looked at her knees she noticed she hadn't shaved for days, sometimes, when the boys were asleep and she was taking a quick shower, a couple of flicks would do the job but for the past days her showers had been way too quick to do even that. She pointed her wand on her legs and then on her armpit, almost giggling as the spell worked and her skin was now cleaned again. She glanced at her bra on the top of the pile of clothes and pointed her wand, it transformed into a sponge, she gave a small smile at her work and summoned it in her hand, she watered it, clutched it in her hand and started running her skin slowly, taking care to clean every spot, giving a little extra attention on the scar above her left breast, where Dolohov had marker her near death experience forever, as she was absorbed in the small ritual of cleansing, she didn't hear the steps that signed Harry's return inside the tent.

The cold air helped, it had put him back in his place. The rules had been set, one Weasley was gone and the other was probably waiting for the return from the Hunt. He couldn't spoil it now, Hermione was supposed to be his sister, she was supposed to be his best friend but nothing more, she was supposed to be…

Why his hand had felt so good around hers? Why her smile had made him smile after so long? Why he had felt the strong urge to cheer her up in the first place? Why he had felt the  _need_  to fill up for a position that was supposed never to be his? Why his hands had felt so great when he had touched the nape of her neck, unclasping the dark cloud of magic around her? Why their bodies had felt so good while pressed together during their ridiculous little dance? There were so many whys and only one answer: they had done it all wrong.

She was the one to help him, to stand by his side, to fight for him, with him, against everyone, sometimes even himself, she was the only one to stand up before him and take down his wards, she was the one to calm him even in the worst of situations, she was the one to make him feel appreciated when he was the outsider and not the TriWizard winner, the Hero or the Savor. She was the one to accept him, be the link between everything he needed to do and everything he needed to know as to make it possible, Hermione was…

Hermione was the right one, yet the rules set by everyone, by the constant presence of the wrong people around them had them caged in the wrong place. If you don't want two people to fall in love with each other, yet their bond is so strong that can't be contaminated with hatred or rivalry, you can only make them feel related as to stop the inevitable… and that was exactly what had happened.

But now, with them finally alone, even with the looming fear of the war, but finally alone, the true instincts had been awakened. The true roles had finally been exposed and both had gotten so scared a few minutes ago, when they finally looked each other in the eye and saw who they should be…

But what would happen if truly dare to be who they were supposed to be? What worse could happen? Ron had left at his belief of them being one, was he so right? The only person who was supposed to know both of them so well, had left them in the middle of nowhere because he had seen the things they had refused to see for so long, brushing them off as "nothing" and "we're like that,"… their best friend had left because he had lost the game, the male B had left and male A had won, and Harry and Hermione, in the first chance, had gotten closer, closer than ever before, closer like Ron knew they could get, was that why he had left? He had suspected it would happen sooner or later and he finally realized he had lost the race? Was Ron's presence blocking the inevitable for so long?

Harry sighed and pushed the torrent of questions in the back of his mind, these questions couldn't be answered just by him… he would go mad if he tried, he needed answers from another person too, however the said person wasn't in the tent as he looked around.

Until he spotted the curtain covering the bathroom area and only then the sense of roses and the shampoo they used filled his nostrils, making him close his eyes for a moment in pleasure. When he opened his eyelids again, he realized Hermione was bathing, he could hear a small humming sound, it was her, he couldn't recognize the rhythm, maybe some tone she had listened to the radio? He tried to listen more carefully and caught it, it was the song they had danced awhile ago, he gave a small, desperate smile, this was insane, he had caught her bathing in the past months, usually in the middle of the night, when she would return from some patrol and he and Ron would be asleep, or at least seemed asleep as his nightmares many times woke him up, and he would see her shadow standing in the tub as the curtain covered her like now.

And he would always turn around in his bed, feeling ashamed of looking…sneaking, she was a beautiful woman, that he had realized for at least three years, when his jaw had dropped while she was standing next to Krum, before the Great Hall's gate, so long ago… But the set rules had always made him look away, even if his body had reacted differently he had willed his mind to go back to sleep, not even touch himself for relief, it would be wrong, incestuous… in an no actual incest…

But this time was different, this time there were no such forced delusions upon them, they were alone, abandoned by all their supposed loved ones, they were left alone and they had the right to be who they wanted to, who they had to…

Hermione gave a loud gasp the moment she saw the curtain being lifted and the light from the lamp falling upon Harry's figure, from trying to grip her wand, she tried to cover her chest with her arm and got deeper in the water.

'Harry… what are you-' she tried to say, still shocked as her eyes were locked with his, his sober face, for some reason made her calm down immediately, the line had been crossed and there was no way she could do something about it.

'Let me…' he whispered with a small voice and stretched his hand towards her hand with the sponge in it, when she remained frozen but with her eyes somehow soften in his, he reached, took the sponge from her hand, knelt before the side of the tub, close to her body and watered the sponge in his hand, not caring for his sweater's sleeve that got wet.

Hermione watched him, still unable to speak, as he brought the sponge upon her arm's skin, slowly rubbing up and down her already heated flesh, his other hand moved on the wall of the tub and touched her wet mane, his fingers brushing against the side of her head and even without realizing it, she leaned into his touch, the arm that was covering her chest moving for her hand to caress his own that held the sponge, their eyes never breaking the contact as his hand on her head cupped her neck and shoulder, their breaths getting short as they both moved their heads closer once again.

Harry moved the sponge inside the water again and only then he broke the eye contact as he glanced at her beautiful body within, thankfully the shampoo hadn't created too many bubbles to cover the surface, without even realizing it, the sponge next touched her chest, and his eyes fell upon it, and then he saw the scar.

Hermione didn't feel exposed under Harry's gaze, it was a gentle observation, respectful eyes that got darkened when he spotted the scar and touched it with one of his fingers, they both knew what had caused it, they both knew it wouldn't be the last scar on her until that war was over…

Their eyes were dark, darker than usual, their faces flushed, but only because of the exploration in common, the heat in the room was suddenly raised as they realized, and the atmosphere wasn't odd anymore, they had reached a limit awhile ago, and now they were reaching another, but this time, they wouldn't back off, they would both move that step forward in their falsely incestuous relationship.

The sponge moved up on the surface as Harry's palm left it to touch with his bare skin within the water, he cupped her breast and Hermione gasped at the contact, their eyes locked again and her hand moved above his own palm on her breast, she was sure he could feel her heart racing and she knew that if she touched his own heart, they would be sharing the same rhythm.

Without breaking the eye contact, Harry moved Hermione's head slowly even closer, the hand on the nape of her neck massaging the spot carefully, making her sigh in pleasure as he tried to squeeze her breast, his fingers feeling the taught nipple, it was what they both needed.

Their lips captured each other in a fight for dominance and need, his hand slipped around her body as Hermione moved closer to him, the hand on her neck now fisting in her wet mane as the metallic wall of the tub remained between them, his hand moved down her sides in the water, touched her thigh and leg, ran back up on her soft stomach and breast while her own arms wrapped around his shoulders as she could reach there and her own hands clutched on his clumsily cut locks.

His hand finally moved to her navel and from there, he pushed open her leg so she could remain balanced inside the water on her side but also give him access. They broke the kiss in a gasp for breath, the tension between them evident like the cry of a battle inside their eyes, there was no turning back now, they had woken the beast inside them, the beast that everyone had tried to keep down for so long… there was no way of putting it back to sleep again.

Hermione moaned and clutched on his shoulder as her temple rested upon his the moment his hand touched her there, on the core of her body, where she had needed him from the beginning, from the moment she had learnt about Cho Chang and then Ginny and later on who knows who else… she had been his and he had been hers and her body was given now willingly to the rightful man.

He hadn't touched a girl like that before, he wasn't sure what to do but his instinct worked quickly, he felt the hard button of nerves and as he maneuvered his hand in a better angle, Hermione moaned in pleasure and he knew this was a good spot to focus on. His finger slipped a bit further down however and Hermione gave a louder gasp, this time a bit strained as one of her hands moved upon his palm under water and held his movement.

'Slowly. Please.' she whispered and Harry could only nod and kiss her as her eyes were almost fearful, all answers had been given to him, he wouldn't go too far, literally, he didn't want to harm her or destroy something she wouldn't be able to repair later, they would go with baby steps in this, he wouldn't force her into anything. Even if his body burnt from head to toe for her right that moment, Harry would focus on her, he had started, awhile ago with the mission to change her mood, he was changing way greater things in her and him that night, but they wouldn't complete the journey for now, it was too soon and they were too unprepared for what it was to come.

Hermione knew they wouldn't end it that night, they both needed more time and as things seemed, they had it, they were alone, finally and they had the time to explore everything that had been hidden from them. But for that night, she would take whatever pleasure and attention and love Harry could give, she knew this was deeper than lust, deeper than need and even desperation, this was what they both had refused to give to each other, and at the same time, what they both had needed from the beginning.

They started caressing her inner lips together, Hermione guiding him, like she always did with almost everything, and him, like a good student, learning fast, he never cared about grades but now every sigh, every kiss, every whispered or moaned "oh Harry" and every little feminine sound she gave was the greatest reward he could ever ask for.

He slipped one finger inside, carefully, watching her eyes for the slightest sign of pain or discomfort, her own fingers close to his in case pain was caused while he set up a small pace, and as long as she didn't seem to flitch, he kept up, kissing her, his finger soon been accompanied by one more inside her while his lips trailed kisses up and down her neck, on her lips, on her earlobe, replied by her own kisses, nips and even a couple of bites. Her hand moved just a bit to take care of her button of nerves, and together they kept up in the silent tent, the radio had probably gotten shut from their uncontrolled magic that crackled in the air, the tent was filled with the sounds of their kisses, Hermione's moans, Harry's small groans at the pleasure he caused and felt himself and the water that splashed against the tub's walls because of their hands' moves within it.

Harry moved his fingers against her pubic bone, mostly experimentally and it was when she gave a louder gasp, the loudest and most delicious so far so he kept the pace there, while she increased the speed of her own finger on her clit until he captured her lips with his own in a desperate try to feel how she was feeling even in the slightest.

And he felt it, the moment she broke the kiss and her entire body convulsed in pleasure inside the tub, still held by his other arm, she clung on his shoulder and cried out his name in the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, her voice broken in ecstasy caused by the both of them on her body and he felt his own body reaching its peak even if he couldn't touch himself as both his hands were preoccupied on her, he came too with a groan of her own name and his head falling on her shoulder, biting down on the skin of her neck, making her scream a little more as she jerked in the combination of her orgasm and the pain on her sensitive skin.

They remained like that, one inside the water, still jerking in small aftershocks with their hands still between her legs while the other almost hovering above her, still out of the tub but with his head on her wet shoulder, his face hidden in her neck and both his arms wet up to the elbow because of his treatment on her.

After a few more moments of gasping, their arms moved, wrapping around each other, holding each other, finally  _finding_  each other, making up for the lost time, this time only with the tub's wall between them, finally having overcome almost every other obstacle, finally only a step away from reaching what they both needed: each other.


	2. Someday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the second shot

_Part Two_

_Someday_

Hermione remained on the couch of her small apartment, her nerves getting worse with every snore heard from within her bedroom. She sighed and glared at the Christmas tree by the corner, before her library, Luna and her awesome ideas, the darn thing was blocking her access to her books.

She shouldn't be cranky, it was Christmas Eve but on the other hand, why shouldn't she be? The dinner at the Burrow had been awful and the fight between her and Ron that had followed was even worse, Harry being there along the rest was another bonus.

It had been mare months from her graduation, in the class of 1999 as she ended up finishing her seventh year with the end of the war, right after her graduation, she had been accepted in programs of the ministry for her to start a career and it was great as the ministry was building itself from its ashes with new people who could change the world from within.

In almost a week, they were entering 2000, the millennium, yet she was feeling no excitement at the moment as the months that had followed the war were not ideal and she wasn't sure for the ones to come either…

Ron had returned, just two days after their dance… after… that night, his presence demanding to take back his place between them, literally between them, and they had allowed him, once again, forgetting but not forgiving what he had done, because honestly, he had only made them see who they truly were, so if they had to forgive something to him, was his return and not his leaving in the first place.

And then the Hunt had resumed, and they did what they had to do, they fought on the 2nd of May, they saw friends dying that night, they became part of history for ending the Second Wizarding War of the century. Until some other Dark Lord decides to take over, Hermione thought bitterly.

And after the war, they finally focused on their lives, or at least what was left of them. The months that followed the war were for them to lick their wounds, and as Harry and Hermione got drown in the Weasley family, they hadn't gotten the chance to keep up with what had started in that tent, they hadn't gotten the chance to either end it or call it a wrong and be over with it.

Until Hermione started her final year at Hogwarts, on the September of 1998, after a summer full of fights with Ron about the time she would be gone, after a summer full of tension with Harry and his support in whatever she wanted to do, including the resume of her parents' lives, after the summer of both of them realizing that things were not as they had thought they'd be with the Weasleys, with Ron being as he was, with no way of improving in Hermione's eyes and with Ginny not being enough to help with Harry's nightmares and post-war traumas… you can find a little solace in wartime, but you need a true constant after the war, when the healing is required for your soul.

And that was required for both Harry and Hermione, and they found their constant, in each other.

Minerva McGonagall gave access to Hogwarts for Harry and Ron so they could see Hermione who due to her past was given a small tower for her, like the ones the teachers in Hogwarts had, she refused the position of the Head Girl as she just wanted to finish her studies with no more obligations of any kind and tried to focus on graduating and healing herself.

Even if both Harry and Ron had access to Hogwarts, Harry was the one to visit the castle the most, at first because Ron was busy with helping George who was trying to get back to normal, then because Ginny was attending her own seventh year at Hogwarts and Harry was pretending it was to see her and then because both he and Hermione knew they wouldn't heal if they didn't stick together.

And just a few hours together in that small tower were enough for the sparkle to get strong again, for Harry to kiss Hermione like he had done in the tent and her to wrap her arms around him as she had so longed for…

And the affair had begun, and even if things were not ideal with the rest of the world, Harry and Hermione were happier than before, were stronger than before, were guiltier than before… jealous and angry in the dark days, when they had to see each other with the Weasleys, passionate and loving when they were on their own, finally having found some time for each other, it was excruciating, traitorous and liberating at the same time.

And Hermione finished Hogwarts and the true nightmare begun, with the summer of 1999 being a living Hell between sharing herself with Harry and Ron, having to share Harry with Ginny and all this being invisible to the rest. Both she and Harry were cowards who didn't want to break everyone's hearts, Molly was  _so_  happy to see them all together in the family, the scandal would be huge and Ron and Ginny, even unfitting for Harry and Hermione had done nothing wrong to be pained like that.

So summer turned into autumn and autumn into winter, and the days led them to that day, Christmas Eve, such a different Christmas Eve from the one of 1997…when it was just them, right and free… Now that Christmas Eve had included tension, the dinner with everyone trying to wish the best to each other and Hermione finally announcing that the ministry was giving her extra seminar hours for her to work on, an announcement that had Ron angry about how much she would be in the ministry's tutorials and how little she cared about their relationship and Harry trying to calm him down and Ron answering rudely that led Ginny to get in the battle too with the result of a row between Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny.

Between the lines, Ron had shown his worst face again, accusing Harry for siding with Hermione when he's not the one most affected by that decision… Harry trying to defend Hermione's choices and Ginny giving pointed stares between Harry and Hermione every time they locked eyes or defended each other, as if Ginny could see the truth, as if she could see how right her brother was… Harry had a place none and everyone knew about in Hermione's heart.

Hermione had stormed out of the dining room, with Ron following her, gripping her arm and apparating both in her flat as he still lived at the Burrow, they needed a place to fight on their own and Hermione's place always granted them that. The fight had turned ugly with Ron slamming the door of her bedroom after screams and accusations, and Hermione collapsing on the couch and bursting in tears of anger, desperation, guilt and sadness, how had she gotten herself tangled in this mess?

Another snore made her exhale in exasperation, first he was screaming in her face, and twenty minutes later he was snoring while she still huffed and glared at everything, she would never expect that a Christmas Eve in a snowy graveyard with a war raging on would have been thousands times better than this.

And with the thought of that night, her mind went back to Harry, as she pointed her wand at her bedroom's door to shut the sound of Ron's snoring. She needed some peace and quiet and Harry's thoughts helped even if the tension between them was also great.

Their affair was hard to maintain, with everyone around them all the time, but they were trying, for their sakes, they were doing their best. Sometimes she wondered, was it just for that, their sake? Their affair was just a way out from their reality? And the answer always came as fast as the question had: no, it wasn't just a way out.

The feelings that woke up inside her every time he touched her, every time he fought for her like he had done earlier, the pain they shared, the understanding, the sense of guilt and responsibility and at the same time the sense of belonging to each other were way more than just a way out…

She sighed and stood up, thinking that Harry was probably in Grimmauld, trying to calm down after the row with Ron, she wished she could see him, she wished she could go there at that moment, but to say what? That it was nothing? That it was just another row? Did she honestly believe that after so long?

Harry had started pressing the matter in moments of desperation and outbursts that increased, like the fights and rows between him and Ron did, while the rows between Hermione and Ron were a routine by now, a routine that killed her more and more inside.

But she was always the one to reason with Harry, after the outbursts, after him trying to convince her that they shouldn't keep hiding, that it was enough, that at the end, they would be exposed, and Hermione always kept him down, reminded him of the scandal and the pain they would cause on so many people, and his guilt was soon catching up too, along his good heart and he always nodded and stole a kiss from her lips, saying she was right, and their torture always took another prolongation.

She moved away from the couch, extinguished the lights of the room and left the lights of the Christmas tree only. She was ready to move to the bathroom and get rid of the make-up so she could sleep on the couch –there was no way in Hell she was sleeping next to Ron, at least for that night- but she was interrupted when there was a knock on the door, she frowned and was ready to ask who was it when Harry gave the signaling knock and she rushed to open the door, it was too late for him to be at her doorstep…

She opened the door and gasped in shock when Harry wrapped his arm around her waist and crushed his lips with hers as he slammed the door shut and pushed Hermione against the nearest wall, the smell of firewhiskey was so strong on him, and the bottle in his hand almost empty.

Hermione broke the kiss and tried to push him away, her eyes glancing in fear at the closed door of her bedroom, she had silenced it, therefore they hadn't been heard but she couldn't listen to Ron as to be sure he was still asleep, if that door opened right that moment…

'Harry what are you doing here?' Hermione asked in fear as her eyes kept playing between the bedroom and the man before her, whose green eyes were looking at her with such honesty despite the alcohol in his system.

'He doesn't deserve you,' Harry said hoarsely and kissed Hermione again and then broke the kiss. 'He doesn't bloody deserve you!' he repeated angrily and smashed the bottle of alcohol in the corner, making Hermione gasp in reflex and look at the bedroom door again, Harry following her gaze. 'He's in there?' he asked in furry, mostly to himself. 'YOU DON'T DESERVE HER!' he screamed out and Hermione finally felt her body working on its own as her hand moved on his lips and silenced his outburst, terrified everything was about to collapse upon them.

'Shh, Harry, you're drunk,' Hermione whispered in panic and Harry seemed to calm down at her touch as he kissed the hand that was keeping his mouth shut, she turned his head gently for him to look at her. 'Lets go to Grimmauld, you need a sober potion, lets go and we can talk there.' Hermione tried as she took slowly her hand away from his lips, he took that hand in his, holding it between them while his arm still kept her against the wall.

'He doesn't…deserve -you,' he repeated and this time his voice was broken, pained, honest, Hermione sighed and hugged him close to her body, shutting her eyes as the tears returned.

Harry's hand was soon moving on her sides, touching her curves as she was still in her deep purple dress from the dinner, he raised his head and kissed her lips again, still desperate but not as hoarsely as before, and she didn't mind the alcohol in his breath and tongue, she actually wished for it to had been more, so she could get drunk too, so her mind could become blank even for awhile.

Her own hands traveled on his body, his shoulders, his neck, his hair and soon he was pushing her against the wall harder, his erection pressing against her, and her leg wrapped around his own in a desperate try for her to become one with him, forgetting that blasted door could open any second now or that Ginny or someone else could apparate in, they just wanted to find that solace, that love, like they always did when they got together.

Harry's hand moved between her legs, where he had first touched her, he wasn't the one who took her virginity but he was the one who touched her first, she was his and nothing in his drunken mind could tell him otherwise.

Hermione moaned and threw her head against the wall as his hands touched her like they always did, with care and passion, yet his touch this time was slightly rougher, just like she needed it to be.

'We should stop,' her mind vocalized its protest in this madness even if her body, soul and heart had given in, unable to resist anymore.

'Tell me to stop then, tell me you don't want me,' Harry whispered close to her ear, before he could bite on her neck, making her cry out, she kissed him hard, possibly harder than ever before, even harder than he had seen her kissing him in the locket kiss, Harry smirked evilly as he unbuckled his trousers and hoisted Hermione up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, Ron had no idea his worst nightmare shown by the locket, was just a small taste of what was happening while he was asleep in the bedroom…

They bit down on each other's lips as he thrust himself inside her, their muffled groans of pleasure and pain the only sound in the room. Hermione wrapped her legs around Harry's waist while he held her steady and played with her body. Their coupling raw, fast and hard as they both needed it to be for now, against a wall, while Ron slept inside the bedroom, with Harry drunk and desperate and Hermione sober and torn, this was their reality, and they couldn't deal with it, at least for now…

Hermione was the first to cry out, her walls shaking and trembling as Harry kissed her hard once again before he could break the kiss in a groan of pleasure as he thrust deep inside her hard for the last times before he could come. They both leaned against the wall in their tight hug, their breathing hard and their eyes shut, not ready to see yet another jump in the swamp they called life.

'If you tell me so right now, I will make the change, I will do what I have to do…' Harry whispered, his voice clear, his heart and not the alcohol talking.

'It's not the same for me… Ron is our best friend.' Hermione whispered equally, her eyes finally opening to see him looking at her already, his own eyes full of desperation and anger.

'No, it's easier, because our so called best friend doesn't lose the chance to rub in my face that he  _owns_  you, that I have no say in your life, that he is the one to hold your hand out there, even if he doesn't do it, he doesn't respect you like I do, he doesn't care like I do! He doesn't lov-'

'Please, go…' Hermione interrupted him, if he kept up like that, if he kept showing her the way, she wouldn't be able to resist for much longer, she needed to stop him, they were both in the middle of a very difficult night, they were desperate, pained and angry, tomorrow would be better, or she kept telling herself…

'Someday, you and I will finally be together, someday everyone will finally know that you're mine and I'm yours!' Harry said hoarsely and finally moved away, taking Hermione off the wall in the process and having her standing with her weak legs while he buckled back his trousers and stared at the mess the shattered bottle had caused. He looked at Hermione once more, with eyes full of anger for everything and everyone, even her and himself at the moment, and then he stole one more kiss from her lips and left, the door shutting behind him.

Hermione collapsed against the wall and then slipped down on the floor, her eyes filling with tears of pain once again as the breakdown began, she was stained, yet limpid, traitorous yet true, wrong, yet right…

'Someday…' she promised both Harry and herself, praying for this day to come soon… along the courage needed to face it…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, please comment CP09


	3. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the final part of the three-shot story

Part Three

Silence

Both Harry and Hermione had protested against this idea of vacations for the four of them, they had tried to put up excuses but Ginny and Ron had insisted –in a try to avoid Molly and her pressing on various "family matters" as she called her pushing for the couples to get married, or at least engaged- so now they were arriving to the small rented house by the sea Ginny had found and rented for the four of them.

Harry and Hermione had no idea how they would survive the weekend seeing each other in the hugs of the Weasleys, it was one thing to have to suffer the sight for a dinner every week at the Burrow, and totally another to spend two days and nights like that.

Harry sighed as they all flooed inside the small cottage, it was sunny with white and crème furniture, some flowers, vintage style, it was to make them smile, however he frowned as first Ron and finally Hermione emerged from the floo and looked around at everything and everyone else than Harry.

For the past weeks Hermione had been avoiding him systematically, he had no idea why, she never replied his secret owls and floo calls, she brushed him off at her best, excusing herself as to do or read something… totally ignoring him and leaving the room at the worse times, and this was getting to his nerves. If he had finally taken his ass and got to be there for that weekend was to corner Hermione and learn what was going on. Their affair was still on, two years on ever since that Christmas Eve and she had never behaved like that, she could get angry, or furious at Ron, she could even escape at her parents' when he would be around her flat too much but Hermione never acted like that around Harry.

'Why don't we check out the bedrooms? Both have a view of the sea,' Ginny was saying and both Ron and Hermione nodded awkwardly, they had fought again, it was clear to Harry who knew them so well and he almost smiled in wild satisfaction.

They moved their stuff in the bedrooms and Ginny smiled and wrapped her arms around Harry's shoulders as she looked at him, he remained sober, they both knew they were on the rocks too, not only because of the secret affair he had with Hermione. The passion had died down and now there was no base for them to rely on and keep up building a life in common, that much was obvious, so for the past months, Ginny was trying to find reasons not to call an end in this endless struggle.

'I think we'll have fun here, Ron and Hermione need this as much as we do.' Ginny commented and Harry sighed and only nodded, not sure what to say, he didn't care about Ron and Hermione and what they could need as a couple, he only cared about how much he suffered every time he saw them close, like he always did every since he was a teenager.

Ginny was ready to move towards the double bed of the room, trying desperately to find some good moments to remember from that weekend even in this way, where not many words are needed and her body works better than her tongue that doesn't have to say a lot… But Harry keeps her firmer where they stand, he can't have that, not again, not with her, while he's trying desperately not to blurt out the wrong name… After a moment he moves them towards the door of the bedroom and out of it, where Ron already is out of his own door.

'Hey, you're here,' he says awkwardly after a glance in the bedroom where Hermione is, he then looks at his sister.

'Why don't we go to a grocery store, the fridge's empty.' He suggests and Ginny looks at Harry who takes his arms away so she can approach Ron, this is the perfect opportunity to talk to Hermione.

'Go, I still feel a little nauseous from the portkey,' he gives the first excuse that comes in mind and Ginny nods after a small sigh while Ron only nods his head at Harry and the two redheads leave.

She knows he's right outside the bedroom, she can feel his presence and she knows it's moments until he finally gets the chance to talk to her with no disturb, so much for her plan to avoid him for days. The house falls silent and she wipes away her tears quickly as she hears the wooden floor squeak at his every step until she can feel him right behind her as she's on the edge of the bed, close to its bottom foot.

Harry knelt before her, not needing to avoid her red, watery eyes that looked down, he took a wild lock behind her ear and gently lifted her face by the chin.

Hermione looked at his green eyes that demanded an answer, but she couldn't avoid the fear they also contained, the fear of them not being together anymore, the fear something's wrong with her, and dear Morgana, everything's wrong with her, she wished things were easier, she wished things were not as they were at all, but things had changed, taking a turn that she had never expected.

Harry could see she needed an action of care and love than a require for answers, and he was willing to satisfy her, he had missed her, he wanted her and he didn't care about why she was crying again, probably it was Ron, maybe it was their affair, maybe it was everything but at least for now, he just wanted to lose himself in her arms and forget about everything while they could.

He moved closer and they captured each other's lips in a heated kiss, Harry moved Hermione against the mattress and she laid down beneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist, their hands touched, their fingers struggled with their clothing, especially Harry's trousers as Hermione was wearing a summer dress that was easily lifted to reveal her body.

They were going slow, almost painfully as Hermione did her best not to cry for whatever burden she had on her shoulders and Harry knowing so, yet not knowing the reason or a way to help her.

He slipped inside her body in one smooth thrust that had her lips opening in a silent moan of pleasure before she could actually cry out as he withdrew and thrust back inside her, her flesh giving way to his. Her hand grasped his, her lips bit on his neck while he nipped on her earlobe and his other hand bruised her thigh, not caring for marking each other, they had been hiding far greater things than some bruises and scratches…

They had done that before, in hiding, mostly in hiding or when the Weasleys were not seeing, at the Burrow while the rest would have been in some celebration downstairs, in the middle of the night on a couch, in the kitchen at dawn, before even Molly can wake up, in the ministry, when none could see them, his flat, her flat, wherever they could manage, as long as they were together for those few moments of passion and meet of flesh and souls and the moments afterwards, when he'll stroke her hair and she will sigh his name.

He kept thrusting inside her, not letting her to change the angle when she tried to be on top, he was with her after weeks of being avoided, she was his and he was hers, she was his and he wanted to show her how much he had missed her, this was for her.

They were soon reaching the peak, after weeks of being away from each other, almost a month, they wouldn't be able to last longer so Harry thrust hard against her one, two three times and finally came inside her, screaming the right name above the right woman, their bodies remaining hip-to-hip joined as Hermione captured his gasping lips in a heated fight for domination and solace. He responded as long as his lungs allowed him but soon they were breaking the kiss and she was looking at him with more tears running down to her temples and getting lost in her mane, it was so difficult for her and he could feel the change that was to come.

Harry couldn't resist anymore, he needed to know, all this sadness and fear was making his heart ache, he wanted to know why she had been avoiding him, why she was so sad, why her eyes were full of tears, she was the one who had asked for them to wait more and more and already three years had passed by… he was  _exhausted_  from being constantly on edge.

'I'm pregnant,'

Silence

His hands paused on her neck and hair as their bodies remained against each other, all sweaty and heavy, still joined, his eyes remained still, looking into hers, his heart bursting with emotions that couldn't be recognized easily: love, terror, hope, pain, need, insecurity, uncertainty, joy, sadness, joy and remorse. 'It's yours, Ron and I haven't touched each other in almost two months… I'm four weeks,' Hermione finally added the words that had him exhaling in relief, she was pregnant by him… he gave a huge smile that had Hermione frowning.

'Did you hear what I said?' she asked, almost dangerously and he smiled and nodded before he could peck her parted lips, she finally softened her gaze and breathed in relief as well, waiting for him to speak.

'Two years ago, I had told you that someday… we would finally get together, this is the day.'

And after a long moment of looking at each other, sharing all the courage and strength they'd need to face everyone after years of sharing only the pain and the desperation, they shared another kiss…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment? thank you

**Author's Note:**

> please comment :)


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